World’s Most Successful Kidney Donor

In the Philippines one of the names given to the area around Manila is “One-Kidney Island.” This is because the black market sale of kidneys is so common.

One man, who asked to be called “Carlos” (although his real name is Bart) is known far and wide as the world’s most successful kidney donor.

“I have developed a fool proof technique,” says Carlos. “I have the doctor sew the recipient’s bad kidney back into me. Then there’s a new one to sell.” When asked how he deals with the fact that the next transplant will be of a bad kidney, Carlos says, “That’s why there are airplanes. You get out of town until the heat is off.”

Carlos says he did this by falling on a skate key.

Asked how he explains the huge scar which is already there when the doctors prepare for surgery, Carlos tells them, “I fell on my roller skate key.” When asked about the future of his business,  Carlos is optimistic. “This kidney gig should be good for quite some time. But sooner or later it will dry up. That won’t be the end of it for me though. I’ll switch to liver chunks, and if that doesn’t pan out, hearts.” Is there anything he wouldn’t sell, “Well, the penis is a definite no. That’s the wife’s rule, not mine.”

Carlos doesn’t seem too concerned about the fact that selling his heart would be fatal. “My wife has lived without a heart as long as I’ve known her, so don’t give me that!”

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