Donald Sterling Branches Out

Sterling thinking up other races to insult.
Sterling thinking up other races to insult.

Sensitive to the criticism he had drawn for his anti-African American statements, Donald Sterling today decided to sling racial epitaphs at other groups as well. “I don’t want you to bring any Eskimos, Chinese people or Native Americans to my games either,” he said. “Jews and Palestinians, forget it. I must own a few of those too, don’t I. I’m paying them, buying them houses and expensive Playstation 4’s. Don’t talk to me about it. And those North Koreans. Forget it. Don’t let me catch any of them in the arena.”

TTLA obtained exclusive audio of the Clippers owner running through a veritable check list of people to insult in a vain attempt to not be seen as being prejudiced against blacks. “Australians. I’ve had it with them.”

As of game time tonight the United Nations had condemned Sterling for his across the board racism and recommended that his franchise be taken away from him and given to a blind women from Venice Beach who doesn’t appear to dislike anyone.

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